What we sacrifice vs what we acquire

Date: 2nd September 2020 Category: Personal Story
What we sacrifice vs what we acquire

I get that whatever you are going through right now maybe is shite and that you can not see or think about what is beyond it.

I get that the possible seem's impossible.

I thought I would never be able to give up using drugs. That my life would be that constant torture. When I was in the madness I was incapable of living life. As much as I could imagine a life without drugs. It felt more like a dream or a fairy tale.

In Jan 2016 I hit that rock bottom that would change my life. For what I saw as impossible soon became reality. I was drug-free. Bit by bit my mind settled down and then my life settled down. It wasn't easy and took time and effort. Now, what I thought about my life stopping and without drugs is actually what I feel about life with drugs. Unimaginable.

I dealt myself a hand of cards that forced me to sort my shit out. As much as the will was there, I kept on using, stuck in the cycle of addiction. I lost a good career, I lost friends, and some of me in the process.

At the time it felt like everyone else was dealing the cards. That was bullshit. I survived, would I be where I am now, doing what I am now if it hadn't been for my addiction. Hell no. Without the addiction could I possibly have a good life, a mortgage almost paid a good job, savings, and my retirement plan in place. Hell yes. I have a good life now. Just not that one.

Life is a series of comprises. I have sacrificed my stable life for that of playing catch up. Can I change the past, no, can I use it to my advantage. Damn right. My message here is simple. You can carry on as you are, avoiding the fear of the what ifs, believing the "I can't's" & the "I don't know how too's", avoiding asking for help, and have everything stripped from your life and part of yourself, then have to pick yourself up and rebuild what you can, OR you can say I am done this shit, If I can go through the torture of carrying on using, I can do the hard work of stopping. Let me tell you. The stopping is much easier (I am not saying its easy, but it is easier than carrying on using).

Saying that. As I said would I be the person I am now without reaching that rock bottom, no I wouldn't. But I can type this today, looking myself in the mirror and not only saying, but believing that I am ok and I like myself. I did the Russian roulette. I reached the other side. Many don't, they either carry on the fight of using, or die.

It may not seem like it NOW, you have a choice. Take your life back, or wait till it is stripped away and you may be lucky enough to have the chance to rebuild. I have talked about drugs here. But the same applies to alcohol, gambling, and other problematic behaviours.

I have a 5 sessions program that will help you take that control back. It isn't about stopping straight away. We work towards that. I can hear you say that I have tried to reduce but can't. You haven't tried it with my program supporting you.